Flattery
Last night, I had two entertaining run-ins with the opposite sex.

On my way to pick up keys to my new apartment, I passed to guys in their twenties. One had long, curly hair in a pony tail and was lighting a cigarette. The taller one with short hair smiled at me and stopped.
Guy: Hey, can I ask you a question before you run along on your way?
Me: Okay.
Guy: Do you smoke?
Me: No.
Guy: Well, if you did, and your friend asked you for a cigarette but you only had one left, what would you do?
Me: Share it.
Guy: As he's walking away Now, that's a true American.

On my way back to the subway from picking up my keys, I passed a group of three or four 18-year-old guys sitting on a stoop and drinking something out of a paper bag.
Kid 1: Hey, every body shut up. You're supposed to be quite when a beautiful woman walks by.
Kid 2: Yeah, have some respect for an angel.

Beverage
Last night I also met two of my cousins for drinks. It inspired me to write a haiku.

Too many cosmos
In a swanky hotel bar
Make Tuesday night fun

Yes, it's been a little while since I've blogged. But, don't worry Paul, that doesn't mean I've starved to death in Battery Park. I've just been busy apartment hunting and letting my gainfully employed brother buy me food.

The Hunt (in too much detail)
W. 38th - This apartment was in the fashion district and close to Times Square, which I hate. Upside - the room was huge and there was access to the roof. Downside - the building wasn't heated and, um, New York gets cold in the winter.

E. 3rd St. - This apartment was in the East Village right around the corner from my favorite restaurant, Mama's. Upside - The room already had a bed, and the woman I'd be living with seemed nice. Downside - I'd also be living with her boyfriend, which could be weird. Bonus - I got stuck in between the two front doors on my way out, but was quickly rescued by a cute neighbor on his way out who knew how to open the door. The New York City chapter of Hell's Angels is right down the street so I could pick out a burly, tattooed biker to marry so I can forget about all this apartment and job stuff.

Central Park West - This apartment was above an elementary school. My potential roommate was a woman with a mohawk. She's an artist. Upside - amazing view of Central Park; apartment full of really cool art. Downside - felt more like a really hip art gallery than somewhere to live.

98th and Amsterdam - I got up early, took a cross-town bus and then walked here in the rain. I was there at 10:30 a.m. as agreed upon. And no one was home. I was wet and annoyed.

Astoria, Queens - The great deal apartment I'd made plans to get see even before I left Belvidere was not to be. At 10 p.m. the night before their scheduled open house, the girls called and said they'd given the room to someone already.

E. 83rd - I walked here in the rain, too. Saturday was a damp depressing day. Upside - great apartment with lots of room, friendly roommate. Downside - fifth-floor walk-up far from subway, unfurnished, slightly more than I want to spend.

W. 8th St. - Apartment just down the block from the dorm I stayed in my first summer. Upside - Really cheap. Great Greenwich Village location. Downside - It's a share in a studio apartment. I'd have a loft bed and a closet curtained off from the rest of the room. Very college dorm. I couldn't move in until May 15th.

After lots of agonizing and a little rejection, I'll be living here. I pick up the keys tonight.

Escape from the City
To avoid thinking about apartments for a little while, I went up to my brothers for the weekend. While there:
- I got carded to get into an R-rated movie. Please tell me I look older than 17.
- I slept on the pull-out couch my brother bought the day of my visit.
- I ate sushi for the first time. It's actually really good.

Home is where the couch is
So I'm in New York City now. It still seems very surreal. The plane circling Manhattan, the cab ride in from LaGuardia, riding the subway. It just seems like some sort of weird vacation, not like I actually live here. I'm sleeping on Julie Seabaugh's couch. That might have something to do with the unsettled feeling. So far I've gone to two free promotional events with Julie and visited one apartment I might be able to live in. It's really small. The full-size bed literally takes up the whole bedroom. There's room to open the door and walk to the closet and that's it. I guess it could seem kinky, but it just seemed cramped. But I have more places to visit, so maybe I'll have more exciting news later.

A good job for snoops
O'Hare security has stepped up since I went through in January. Before they used to make you take off your shoes and wand you only if you made the metal detector go off. Now they do it to every one. And then after they X-ray your carry-on luggage, purses, jackets, etc., there are people who get to search it all by hand. The guy who went through my stuff got to find out what I was having for lunch (a banana and two muffins), take a long look at my portfolio (what is this? some sort of project?) and discover that I had a cold (yes, that's what that wad of Kleenex is for). It was pretty entertaining.

Leaving on a jet plane ...
In approximately 12 hours I will be on a plane to New York City. Gah.

Kids are Cute
-This really hyper four-year-old boy sat in front of me today at mass. During the consecration, he turned to his grandmother and asked, "Does he have magic powers?" She said yes.

-In the parking lot after church, I saw a kid puke from eating too much Easter candy. It was only 9 a.m.

Forget Easter eggs; try Easter fortune cookies
A friend of my mom's celebrates most holidays with us. Her daughter Astric brought fortune cookies for all of us. After dinner we each had to draw our fortune cookie out of a pinata. (We didn't have to break it open.) It was a big hit. My 89-year-old great-aunt was extremely pleased with her fortune. "You can get whatever you want with your great charm and beauty." My fortune was less exciting and more baffling. "You are the mast of every situation." What does that mean? Is it just a typo? Or do they really mean I am a large wooden post attached to a ship's sails? Astric also gave me one of the leftovers, and it made more sense but was just depressing. "It is easier to make friends than to keep them." Not really the fortune I want when I'm about to move a thousand miles away from most of my friends.

One more highlight of a Kasper family Easter
-Aunt Jane doing her part to bring back the beret.

Probably only Julie will care:
I've seen two of Stumpy's American cousins with spoilers. It's not a pretty site.

Probably only Paul and Justin will care:
My friend Eric gave me seven burned CDs as a going away present, so I now own music by Phish, The String Cheese Incident, Galactic, Cornershop and The Velvet Underground.

A little something for the rest of you:
My second bridesmaids dress should be arriving in six to eight weeks. I already own matching shoes. Despite my fear of ending up looking like a giant wedge of cheese because Lizz really likes yellow, the dress is really quite classy, not too bridesmaidy and is a pretty burgandy color. This will be my second stint as a bridesmaid. How many more times can I be a bridesmaid before I hit the never-a-bride point? Hmm...

My body has a poor sense of timing
I leave for New York City in just over four days. I have a fever.

Northern Illinois: Tragically Hip
There's a Donny Osmond concert in Rockford on Friday.

Vin Diesel's tips on convincing people you are starring in a serious film
1. Do voice-overs in a serious voice. Think documentary narration.
2. Wear lots of long-sleeve shirts. Who can take you seriously when you've got those guns on display?
3. Sport rather unfortunate facial hair for most of film in order to illustrate your mental distress.
4. Spend lots of time staring meaningfully at ocean.
5. Cry at least a couple times.
6. Two words: teary man-hugs.
7. End with touching grave-side speech.

Anticipation
Ever since this summer, I've been waiting for two things to be released. Anger Management and Lucinda Williams' new album. This week waiting ended with mixed results.

Anger Management was disappointing. I didn't laugh very much, and I didn't catch a glimpse of Dan and Julie in the crowd at the Yankees game. I guess I shouldn't have expected much. After all, I knew from the beginning that it was going to end with a cheesy profession of love at a Yankees game. It was still vaguely satisfying to know I was a couple of pixels in that crowd somewhere, though.

Lucinda's World Without Tears was definitely worth the trip to Best Buy. Since her concert in Central Park (during last summer's 24 hours of perfection), I've wanted to hear "Ventura" again. Now I can. As often as I want. Even if the rest of the the album was crap (which it isn't), that one song makes the wait worthwhile for me.

'Cause everyone's your friend in New York City
I bought a one-way ticket to New York City tonight.
I leave the Tuesday after Easter.
I don't have a job or an apartment yet.
Let's hope this all works out, okay?

Belvidere Vice(s)
Now that I'm back in Belvidere, I've reverted to an old bad habit. That's right; I've started watching General Hospital. But just General Hosptial, not the entire ABC daytime line-up (yet). I've also picked up a new habit: The Bachelor. I even got my mother to watch. She pretended to think it was horrible, but she just didn't want to admit she thought it was funny too.

Sin at the Salvation Army
Yesterday, some one donated a whip to the Salvation Army Thrift Store. My mother thought this was funny and kept threatening to bring it home to keep my dad in line (scarring, trust me). Well, today there was something even more scandalous.

Mom: You'll never believe what came into the store today. It's worse than the whip.
Me (truly frightened): What?
Mom: It was a pair of those, what do you call 'em, the underwear with the string up the butt.
Me: A thong?
Mom: Yes, that's it. And there was this, well, I wasn't sure what it was at first. It could have been another thong. I finally decided it was a bra, but it had holes in it. Now it was too flimsy to be a nursing bra, but the holes were right where the nipples would be. What's the point in that?

I didn't have the heart to explain the bra to my mom, but I tell her about the fashion craze involving thongs and low-rise jeans, which frightened her considerably. Maybe my mother wouldn't be this sheltered if we got cable.

Quote of the Day
"Well, everyone got splattered when the shit hit the fan."
- my dad

Yesterday, I found a Snickers egg in my purse. That was a happy moment.

Movies in the Lou
In St. Louis, I saw two movies. One at the snooty mall (a.k.a Plaza Frontenac), which was good, and one at a giant AMC, which was bad.
All the Real Girls
I really liked this movie. It's the closest I've ever seen a movie come to showing how awkward and painful love can be in real life. And really, how can a movie that involves some one doing the running man while standing in the middle of a bowling lane not be good?
What a Girl Wants
This movie is creepy at the end. Really creepy. I blame Colin Firth. No amount of dancing around in black leather pants can make up for the face he makes while apologizing to his daughter. It's just disturbing.

Back in BoCoMo
It was good to see all of you again. I don't miss classes.

I'm a Survivor
Chrissy lives in Kansas. To get to Kansas to visit her, I had to drive through Kansas City. As some of you might know, last time Big Mama and I attempted this, um ..., it didn't go so well. So I was a bit nervous. Okay, a lot nervous. To the point that I scared my passengers (Julie and an Incredible Hulk kite from Target), but they were nice enough not to say anything until after we get there safely. Thanks. I was much calmer on the return trip, but just because I'm not as scared of Kansas City now doesn't mean I have to start liking the city again. (Sorry, Scott.)

End of the Tour
My vacation is over now. No more road trips in the Big Mama to delay reality any longer. I am officially a jobless bum living in my parents' basement. If you have any ideas about what I should do to remedy the situation, vote here.