Wednesday
I went to a comedy show with Julie Seabaugh. We were the only people there who weren't performing. The comics were so excited to have an audience that they gave us free drinks. One of the comics looked a lot like Conan O'Brien. In fact he's working on a comedy CD entitled "Clonan" about all of his appearances as a celebrity look-alike on daytime talks shows. (In other words, Andrea, you should have been there.) The host was from Ireland and kind of cute, so that was a bonus.

Thursday
I spent over four hours at a temp agency filling out lots of forms and taking computer tests. Woo, my life is exciting.

Today
I saw Joan Rivers at KMart. She was there for some sort of photo shoot. It would have been better if she was really just shopping.

Can we talk about how much today sucked?
First, I had to wake up at 4 in the morning. Then I spent 15 hours sitting in a car with my brother. I didn't drive at all. Why are guys macho and stupid about letting other people drive their cars? Then I sat on a train for two hours. As my bags were too heavy for me to lift over my head, I got cuddle with them for the entire ride. Then I had to drag said bags out to the taxi stand. My duffel bag and my big red backpack didn't seem that heavy when I was packing them. Silly me. The taxi dropped me off half a block from my apartment. I kept stopping every few feet to readjust my bags. Then came the stairs. Two big bags + my laptop + a purse + five flights of stairs = just not going to happen. I ended up making two trips up every flight, moving my bags bit by bit. By the time I arrived at my apartment I was bathed in sweat. Now I'm hungry but really don't have the energy to go out and get food. Okay, I'll stop bitching now.

It's all about perspective
I perfer to think of it as my cab driver simply swearing in his native language at other cabs. That's much less frightening than realizing you are alone at night in a car with a man who is muttering to himself.

Viva technology
Thanks to a gadget from Sprint and the arrival of my laptop in New York, I am blogging for the first time from my apartment. Unfortunately, said gadget is very, very pokey.

Won't you be my neighbor?
I think someone is finally moving into the apartment across the hall. At least that's how I chose to interpret all the empty boxes and stuff I had to step over to get into my apartment. Maybe this means I'll finally meet someone from my building. Wait, people don't do that in New York, do they?

And I said what about Breakfast at Tiffany's ...
Thursday night I watched Breakfast at Tiffany's for the first time. Now I rather desperately want a couch made out of a bath tub for my Manahattan apartment. If only (a) I had an old claw-foot bath tub just lying about and (b) I knew how to saw said bath tub in half.

Random thoughts from my trip back to Belvidere
- I rented Real Women Have Curves while I was in Poughkeepsie. I recommend it (the movie, not being in Poughkeepsie).
- I hate that Pennsylvania reminds me of someone I despise. Do you know how long it takes to drive across that state?
- Upon my arrival in Belvidere, my father refused to let me in the house because I was wearing a Yankees T-shirt. He called me a traitor. Hey, can't I like the Yankees and the White Sox?
- Spending seven hours at the local senior high-rise can really tucker a girl out.
- Apparently my 90-year-old great aunt is quite the dancer. It's all the ladies at her birthday party could talk about.
- Miniature golf and Baker's Square are good for the soul.

A thought on reality TV from a former resident of the Burp Castle
Maybe I'm biased, but I think that Jen and Andrew are meant to be. Did you see the blooper reel? He belched in her ear, and she smiled. That's a sign of true love.

The Kasper Inn
So I got a phone call from Pat Healy yesterday. Random. He's coming to New York on Thursday and needs a place to sleep. So he's going to be sleeping on my uncomfortable futon tomorrow. Maybe I should start a hostel service for my friends and acquintances from MU. All you have to do in return for sleeping on my futon is buy me a meal. The longer the stay, the better the meal. I think it sounds like a good deal (at least for me). Mmm ... free food.

Let's all hope this doesn't catch on
Imagine, if you will, the high-heeled, pointy-toed, lace-up ankle boots worn by women in the 1800s. Think Little Women or Pride and Prejudice. Now imagine a Converse All-Star. Any color you like. Imagine they had a baby. Isn't that a scary picture? Yesterday, I saw a whole display of them in the front window of a shoe store. It was a harrowing experience.

Down with love, up with chocolate. Now there's an idea.
I saw Down with Love on Friday. I think Kate would really like it. It made me want to go home, drink martinis and listen to Dean Martin.

What do you mean there are no local trains running below 14th Street?
Despite the MTA's attempt to foil my attempt at a social life, I went out on Saturday night to see a band play at Arlene Grocery on the Lower East Side. With a little creativity and memory, I made it to the bar, found a cozy seat along the wall and enjoyed some quality tunes.

Tour of Churches: Part III
Church of St. Stephen of Hungary
The walk: one avenue and one block
The church: very 70s
The crowd: me and a couple elderly women
The service: not actually in Hungarian
The priest: a skinny, nervous middle-aged man
The sermon: hard to follow
Communion: A friar in his brown robes and Birkenstocks helped give out Communion
Overall: I wasn't feeling it. But perhaps I was destined not to like this church. I really don't like most people I know named Steve.

Aww ...
I know Clare will probably comment more extensively on the finale of the Bachelor, but I just have two things to say.
1. The ending was really cute.
2. I was quite offended to hear that Kirsten had a degree in magazine journalism. She's giving us all a bad name.

Hotel Intercontinental
I went to a press luncheon this afternoon. It was about the Speical Olympics in Ireland. I really don't like press functions. I got to stand around while a bunch of people who seemed to know each other already chatted. Maybe I'm in the wrong business if I'm this bad at networking. Or maybe it won't be as bad when I have a good reason for being at said press function. At least I got free lunch and the business card of a woman with Tourism Ireland.

The City Gets Lonely
Um. Yeah.

Fame
Yesterday I went to a Leona Ness concert where I moonlighted as a photographer for Julie Seabaugh. On the walk there, I passed my first random celebrity since moving here. It was Bo from One Life to Live. Julie was quite disappointed that I recognized a soap opera star. Whatever. It's not like I'm going to go stand outside Radio City Music Hall tonight to try to see more soap stars on their way to the Daytime Emmys. My life hasn't gotten quite that pathetic yet. At the concert I saw two other famous people: Leona Ness (duh, it was her concert) and her boyfriend Ryan Adams (he was talking about hanging out with Billy Bragg). That's all. I think I've filled my celebrity quota for the month.

NYPD Blue
Yesterday I saw someone get arrested in this Internet cafe.

Law & Order
A judge has ruled that MTA has to roll back the fare hike. Who else is really excited about this? It will save me 50 cents every time I ride the subway, unless MTA wins their appeal. Come on, people. You "cooked the books" as the news keeps putting it. Don't try to get out of this. Please. I could really use the extra cash.

Not just knock-off handbags and bootleg CDs any more ...
Now street vendors in New York are also selling Saddam playing cards for just five dollars. Order your own deck from me today.*

*Postage and handling extra.

Networking
I had lunch with my editor from Family Circle today. She might be able to take me to a press event about the Ireland hosting the Special Olympics World Games this summer. She even suggested possibly going there to cover them for Family Circle, but she didn't realize they were so soon. Alas, that would have rocked. I need to think up more freelance stories that require going back to Ireland.

Is it June yet?
The Saw Doctors are playing a free show in Prospect Park on June 22. Wilco and Sonic Youth are playing in Central Park (not for free) June 26 and 27. That is going to be an amazing week.

An open letter to the random men walking the streets of New York
1. I am not your sweetheart, so please just get the hell out of my way.

2. My name is not "Gorgeous" or "He, he, he, B-u-ti-ful," especially when
a) I'm really sweaty from walking so many blocks in this heat
and
b) haven't washed my hair yet today.

3. Creepy old man in the subway station, you are the reason I am so strongly opposed to the use of the word "cream" as a verb.

In conclusion, please just keep your thoughts to yourself.

Tour of Churches: Part II
St. Monica's
The walk: 4 blocks, 1.5 avenues
The church: Absolutely gorgeous with lots of stained glass, a beautiful old marble altar and one of those lecturns with a spiral staircase
The crowd: More diverse than last week. Not crowded, but it didn't feel empty.
The priest: A short, balding Indian man
The support staff: The cantors and "altar boys" were all adult women in white robes. I think they were nuns.
The music: Lovely but not intimidating to sing along with
The sermon: Very good. Tied several ideas together and kept it relevant. Even worked in a story about a Welsh sheep farmer
Communion: The wine tasted like whiskey again. Maybe it's just standard-issue for the Diocese of NYC
The smell: They used incense at least five or six different times during Mass. If felt a bit like being fumigated.
Overall: I liked it. I could see myself going back.

Weekend highlights:
- I went to see Bend It Like Beckham by myself. I splurged on Baskin Robbins and spent two of the dollars I saved by walking instead of taking the subway.
- I went to the Irish sports bar around the corner from my apartment for a Guinness. The place wasn't very lively or inviting. Mostly there were middle-aged bald men watching the NBA playoffs.
- I got my first piece of mail. Mmm ... Piper's fruit slices. Thanks, Amber!

Ew ...
The other day I saw two guys fishing in the East River.

On a more serious note
My new roommate might have cancer. She has to go in for more tests. Say a few extra prayers for her, okay? Thanks. Her name is Brooke.

Oh, yeah. I applied for a job here. Maybe I'll get paid to learn to knit.

A kindred spirit ... or not
Yesterday I was walking down the street and noticed that the man in front of me had a Guinness tucan pin on his bag. I was excited. I wanted stop him, say it was a lovely day for a Guinness and tell him I had the same tucan as a key chain. I thought I had found a kindred spirit in the masses. Then I realized that he was a slimy middle-aged man who was balding on top but wore his hair long in the back. I guess I'll have to keep looking for a kindred spirit.

Only in New York
On the same walk, I passed something called a "doggie gym." Judging from what I could see through the plate glass window, a doggie gym consists of a large room where they let a lot of dogs run around and sniff each other. Or maybe that was just the doggie aerobics class, and doggie weight training was in the other room.

Random
Today on the street I passed:
1. A giant inflatable skunk with fangs
2. A wax replica of Patrick Stewart

Tour of Churches
There are quite a few Catholic Churches within walking distance of my apartment. I've decided to go to a different church each week in an attempt to find one I like and perhaps rediscover my faith in the process. Here's this week's church.

St.Elizabeth's Hungarian Catholic Church
The walk: A little over three avenues
The church: old with lots of burning prayer candles
The crowd: It was me and a scattering of elderly women
The priest: old and balding in a kindly, endearing way
The music: somewhat operatic with low participation. I'm pretty sure the priest was just mouthing the words
The homily: long-winded and rambling
Communion: I think they used whiskey instead of wine. Whatever it was, it had quite a kick
Rating: Not really feeling it

Sometimes I forget I'm not in Dublin
- Walking down the street I sometimes give way to the left instead of the right.
- It took me a week to stop listening for the video game beeping at walk lights.
- Burberry, Burberry every where. My first night here I saw a man at a bar wearing a button-down Burberry shirt. I also saw a woman wearing a very unfortunate Burberry blazer. But mostly it's been lots and lots of Burberry purses.
- On my walk home from church today, I passed a man with a thick brogue who was standing on his stoop and talking his cell phone.

Since I last posted, I've:
- Moved into my new apartment
- Watched Conan O'Brien leg wrestle with John Malkovich
- Eaten at dinner at Mama Mexico. Mmm ... guacamole.
- Fallen down the stairs on my way to the subway
- Purchased a real bed so I wouldn't have to sleep on an air mattress any more
- Waited around most of the day for the delivery guys to deliver my mattress
- Gotten a New York Public Library card
- Gotten into Dave Attell's show at Caroline's for free
- Shaken Dave Attell's hand and made awkward conversation about St. Patrick's Day in Dublin