Damn you, transit gods, damn you
So there's no way my marathon commute could suck any more, right? Wrong! This weekend a homeless person set a fire in a subway tunnel to try to keep warm, an it ignited some wires and managed to completely gut a signal room for the A and C lines. As a result the C is completely out of service and the A will be running with 40 percent few trains for the next three to five years. Years. And these are the two trains I rely on to get to work and back each day. Awesome. Essentially it means there are half as many trains now (the B still runs local on Central Park West) so I have to leave by 8 to make sure I catch the 9:30 bus which gets me to work at 9:45. Yes, that is an hour and 45 minute commute. Next thing you know the MTA will be raising fares just so they can kick a girl while she's down. Oh, wait ...

Chad Michael Murray is shorter in person
So last night I got to interview the cast of One Tree Hill (well except for James something, but I don't think anyone cares about him). My hard-hitting questions? 1. Do you believe in dream interpretation? 2. Do you have any recurring dreams? 3. What's your favorite food? 4. What do you order at Starbucks? Hey, the people want to know. And by people I mean the legions of screaming 11-year-old girls who were camped out upstairs in the music store waiting to get their CDs and DVDs signed.

Blizzard 2005!
New Yorkers are funny about snow. First of all, they carry umbrellas when it snows. I don't get that. But at the moment, we are in the middle of a snow storm, and every one is freaking out. The city has declared a state of a emergency. That's seems a bit excessive. Yes, we have six inches and could get up to two feet, but don't they reserve the state of emergency thing for hurricanes and earthquakes and such? The local stations here are giving it constant coverage. All those poor reporters are stuck out on the West Side Highway or Central Park. "Yep. It's still coming down at about (sticks ruler in snow) an inch an hour. Traffic has slowed down. You really should stay home because it is a state of emergency." I'm handling this emergency as all emergencies should be handled. I'm going to my local Irish pub. Hey, I'm from Illinois. I'm not scared of a little snow. Mostly I'm hoping there's enough snow that I get a snow day on Monday. That would rock.

Crazy World
How can i protect you in this crazy world
Its alright yeah
Its alright
I have fallen down so many times
Dunno why dunno where
Dont care less its all the same
I have travelled through so many towns
Dunno why dunno where
Dont care less its all the same
How can i protect you in this crazy world
Its alright yeah
Its alright
Can ya hear the sound of nothing nothing
Nothings right nothings wrong
Dont care less its all the same
Love is blind love is real
Dont ya know that love is what you feel
Its alright yeah
Its alright
How can i protect you in this crazy world
Its alright yeah
Its alright
When the talking is over
All the crowd has gone
Nothing left i can do
Am i ever gonna get through to you
Its alright
How can i protect you in this crazy world
Its alright yeah
Its alright
How can i protect when all the crowd have gone
Now your partys over and all this world is wrong
Its alright yeah
Its alright
How can i protect you in this crazy world
Its alright yeah
Its alright

-- Aslan

Yeah, what those Irish boys said.

End of the mystery (well most of it)
Some loose ends have finally been tied up, so I will stop being quite so vague and mysterious now, I swear. Yes, I have a new job, and it's pretty damn fun if I do say so myself. I am an editor at a new tween quiz magazine. (Yes, I just used the word tween.) It's all quizzes, all the time, and I'm the only writer. So instead of writing up-to-the-minute news on commercial real estate, I am now writing hard-hitting articles like "How Well Do You Know Chad?" (that's Chad Michael Murray for you non-WB fans) and "Are You Really Over Him?" And on Tuesday I got to eat breakfast with Hello Kitty. (OK, it was really someone wearing a giant Hello Kitty foam head, and Hello Kitty couldn't eat as she doesn't have a mouth. Details, details.) The downside to all this is that I commute to New Jersey. New Jersey. The trip involves two buses and two subways and takes about an hour and 15 minutes (on a good day). The worst part? The hallway I have to walk through to get to my platform at the GW Bridge bus station without fail smells overwhelmingly like greasy chicken parmesan sandwiches, which is rather vile at 9 in the morning. So that should about bring you all up to speed.

Last Week I Learned ...
-Red carpet events, not really that glamorous
-The difference between Pharrell Williams and Shay Williams (Shay = friendlier)
-The meaning of the phrase A Bathing Ape (bathing in luke warm water, who knew)
-The second Bridget Jones movie isn't as magical as the first, but the fight scene is still hilarious
-There's a $2 movie theater in New Jersey. Thank God for friends with cars.
-I have a neighbor named Lauren. She doesn't live in my building, but she does live on my block.
-Um, that's about it.

Most ... Dramatic ... Rose ... Ceremony ... Ever

(Note to Julie: If you have not watched your tape of The Bachelorette yet. Do NOT read this.)

The Bachelorette has returned, and so far it is fabulous. A few highlights.
David: Sorry, passing out will not help you get a rose. And crying makes you go straight to hell.
Eric: Usually best not to ask out other girls (particularly undercover friends) while competing on the show. Even if you work for that babe magnet magazine, Popular Science.
Dark-haired Virgin/Winner of the Best Quote of the Night: "The body is a gift, not a carnival ride."
Light-haired Virgin: Please shave creepy facial hair. It makes it seem like you have a lot of weird fetishes or similar.
A.W.: Really? Are you a robot or root beer? It was kind of hard to tell.
Wendell: Way to be named Wendell. Now I know my family isn't the only one cruel enough to name a child Wendell. Although, I'm sure it was a much more common name back in the 1920s when the twins (Kendall and Wendell) were born.
Ben: Bonus points for good toast.
Fabrice: Bonus points for being French. But you also lose points for being kind of slimy.
John Paul: You are in real estate, so I hate you.
Chris: Why did he have to get cut? It would have increased the comedy factor quite a bit. Chris the hairstylist from Kentucky could have just gotten plastered for every episode and provided amusing commentary. I mean, the man quoted AC/DC for God's sake. Imagine how much better it could have gotten.
Previews: Someone gets arrested? Awesome! Now that would be the ... most ... dramatic ... rose ... ceremony ... ever. Perhaps Fabrice will get deported.

Oh, weekend, why are you almost over?
So far I:
-watched The Princess Diaries 2 and ate nachos
-read Margaret Atwood's Cat's Eye
-ate Afghan food (very similar to Indian food, actually)
-watched way too much Jets football (the '80s music didn't start until the game was over, and the overtime was just never going to end)

Signs of the Apocalypse
-a new cell phone that includes a small television
-Paris Hilton is releasing her very own album. Please, we'll let you have internet porn and reality television, but can you leave music to people with at least a little bit of talent? Thanks.

And let the residents of the John Ritter Memorial Apartment rejoice
Today, I learned that they are making a sequel to You Got Served. Thought you kids would enjoy that bit o' news.

Except Her Name Isn't Natasha
My new HR lady does not inspire confidence, at least not the kind of confidence one would hope for in your sole contact for human resources, pay roll, insurance and 401(k). Perhaps it is her poor explanations, her thick Russian accent and broken English. She sounds exactly like the woman from Rocky and Bullwinkle. For example:
Me: So why am I not getting paid this Friday?
Her: Moose and squirrel stole check. You vill git paid January 21.
Me: Um, OK

Cure-all
Sometimes it feels like there is nothing having a long conversation with your best friend and listening to your new U2 CD won't cure. But maybe that whole headache-going-away-thing had more to do with the Advil I took.

New Year's Eve Goals
1. Do not lose coat. Check. (Although, there was a rather close call when I couldn't find it at the dance club we went to after the party. I finally located it at a table I had never been at. Perhaps the coat gods were just trying to fuck with me.)
2. Do not injure self or get sick in street. In fact, no getting sick whatsoever. Check.
3. Find someone to kiss at midnight. No such luck. Sigh.

2004 Recap
At this time last year, I said 2004 was going to have a hard time measuring up to 2003. Let's compare. No trip to Ireland, unfortunately, but there was a killer trip to Texas and my partner in crime made it out here for a while so we still got to cause some trouble. I saw The Saw Doctors in concert three times (not just two). I didn't move cross-country, but I did get a new roommate. I quit my first job and started my second. I made a few more friends, and I fell in love twice and got my heart broken once. 2004 wasn't as groundbreaking as 2003, but it was still a very eventful and very good year. Who knows, maybe if I'm lucky I'll get to see The Saw Doctors four times this year.