And Then Some

Sunday, October 31, 2004

Trials and Tribulations with the United States Postal Service
So I'd run out of stamps and decided to stop by the post office on my walk home for work on Tuesday to buy a new roll. There's no line at the vending machine, so I go there instead of the window. It's a little scary putting $40 into a vending machine, but I've done it before so I wasn't worried. Silly me.

I put my two $20 bills in. I select B2. I hear my $3 change fall into the coin return. I don't hear my stamps fall. I reach in and feel around. No stamps. I get down on my knees so I can see better. Definitely no stamps. Well, shit.

There is a postal worker emptying a nearby drop box, so I go over and tell him my dillema. Could he help me get my stamps? He walks over and looks in where the stamps should be. He hits the front of the machine and looks again. Still no stamps. He goes and gets me a form to fill out to ask for a refund. I just want the stamps, but whatever, as long as I'm not out $37.

He says he'll be right back. I fill out my form and wait. He doesn't return. I try going to a window instead because the form says to return it to a salesperson. The woman at the window looks at me increduosly. "37 dollars? That's a lot of money. This will have to be looked into. But you have to take this to window 1. Window 1 handles all these type of things."

So I go wait in line at Window 1. But by the time I get to the front it after 6. I try to explain my problem to the guy at the window, and he just tells me I'll have to come back in the morning. Awesome.

So I come back at 8 am the next day. And wait in line. And wait. I finally get to talk to some one. Oh, Eddie was waiting for you last night, she says. (Um, what? Where? It would have been nice if he'd helped me then.) Was he just going to give you the stamps? Yes, I lie, as I'm not sure who Eddie is. I just want my stamps! She takes my form and disappears for a while. She comes back and tells me some one will meet me over by the gray door to help me.

I walk across the room to the gray door, and a man who appears to be the manager comes out with a set of keys. He takes me over to the machine and proceeds to open it. And there is my roll of stamps, stuck halfway down the shoot. There are about three smaller packages of stamps behind it. Gee, I wish you'd told us about this last night so we could have put the machine out of service and these other people could have gotten their stamps too. (Um, I told three people. What else was I supposed to do?) He hands me my stamps, and I go on my merry way, happy not to be out $37.

Close Encounter of the Subway Kind
Wednesday night I went out to dinner with some friends. (Side note: we had the best host ever. We had to wait so long for a table, partly because some of our friends were late, that he gave us a round of tequila shots, an order of guacamole and a bowl of queso.) Several of us walk back to the subway. There is a homeless man asking if he can squeeze in behind one of us to get into the subway. Nope, sorry. I was the last one through, and he squeezed in behind me anyway! This wouldn't have been so unsettling if this entrance had had regular turnstiles. But it had those revolving-doors-made-out-of-bars entrances instead. So for a few seconds I was unwillingly in a very small, enclosed space with a complete stranger. I wouldn't want to be that close to most of you, dear readers, and I a) like you b)know you're not going to try to touch me inappropriately or steal my wallet.

Have You Ever Loved a Woman ...
I have had this song stuck in my head off and on for a week now. I blame the person who started blasting it on the bus as soon as we hit the D.C. city limits last weekend. Please get out my head now, Bryan Adams. Thanks.

Monday, October 25, 2004

A Few of My Favorite Things
-apples
-hot apple cider
-apple cider donuts
-beautiful fall afternoons
-trees and hills and mountains and such
-people who will drive me more than an hour and half each way to enjoy a little bit of all of the above

Thursday, October 21, 2004

Fear and loathing in the lingerie department
So last weekend I went to Macy's to shop for a new bra. I was in the fitting room trying a few on when I heard what sounded like someone dying or coughing up a lung. Actually it sounded closer to that sound old men make when they're trying to work up a really good spit. That much phlegm should not be present in a changing room. I really hope that woman bought everything she spit on.

And if that wasn't frightening enough, as I was making my back across the department, I saw Dr. Phil's new line of "body shapers" (or in Bridget-speak, scary stomach-holding-in panties). Wrong, just wrong on so many levels.

And Then Some Reader Poll
So, let's say your job was sucking in such a righteous manner that your editor gave everyone an extra week vacation (to use this year or next) just to thank you for sticking around. How would you use it? Keep in mind that I am also very close to earning a free flight with my frequent flier miles.

Sunday, October 17, 2004

Quote of the Week
"John Kerry should be selling vegetables; he's a giant!"
-Julie, during Wednesday's Presidential debate

Runner-up for Quote of the Week
(Said in a thick Jersey accent) "His hair wax is all over my hand."
-random girl standing outside that random dance club around the corner from my house at 2:30 a.m. this morning

Meanest (and funniest) thing I've done all week
To preface this story, the art director at my magazine and the art director at one of our sister publications share an office. They are mean to each other on a regular basis (in a non-serious kind of way), and they plan mean jokes on people on a semi-regular basis. The other art director once saved up packing peanuts for months and then filled all of the drawers and cabinets in one of our editor's cubicles with them.

So one day this week, Steve, our art director, asked me to call Casey, the other art director, and leave a message. See, Casey has been waiting to hear back about a job he'd interviewed for at Showtime. The message I left went something like this. "Hello, this is Marie from human resources at Showtime. I'm sorry, but we've decided to go with another candidate. We just felt you were over-qualified for this position, but we will keep your resume on file." Horrid, I know. But, I'm just an instrument in the plot, people. Steve began to feel guilty and left a follow-up message explaining it was just a joke. Casey got the messages later in the afternoon. Threatening phone calls ensued.

Disappointment is ...
Running down the steps to catch a subway train at 2:15 in the morning after already transferring from the New Jersey PATH train to another subway line to this one, only to have the doors close and the train pull away as you hit the bottom of the stairs. Curses, foiled again. So you brace yourself for the long wait ahead. After about five minutes, you hear what sounds like wheels headed in your direction. Is it? Could it be? Is someone taking pity on you and sending another train already? You lean out and look down the tunnel, but you don't see any lights coming. You still hear the noise echoing around the platform, though. And getting closer. But it doesn't sound quite right. You look down the tunnel again. Still nothing. Then you notice the man walking toward you wearing a Blues hat and pulling a squeaky suitcase on rollers behind him. Damn. Go back to counting subway rats to pass the time.

Sunday, October 10, 2004

Glimpse of an Ivy
I went to Yale this weekend to visit a friend from high school who is working on her doctorate in musicology. Saturday night we went to the symphony. Well, I went to the symphony; my friend was on stage playing the bassoon with the Yale Symphony Orchestra. The music was wonderful. My favorite part was the third piece, Sibelius' Fifth Symphony. (Sounds almost like I know what I'm talking about, doesn't it?)

All the other students in the symphony are undergrads, so after the concert we had a reception in the common room of one of the residential colleges. It looked more like a medieval cathedral than a college dorm. "It looks like Harry Potter," my friend said. (She lives off campus.) "No, it looks like Harry Potter mixed with a hunting lodge." (There were several dead animals mounted on the walls.)

What's in a name?
My great-grandfather on my dad's side owned a wine shop in Chicago after he immigrated from Croatia in the early 1900s. His last name was Rubein. At a family reunion this weekend, my father discovered that the name was originally Rubeinic. But some one told my great-grandfather that if he was going to sell wine, he would do better business with the Jewish population if he had a Jewish name. So he changed his name and dropped the "ic." So I guess this means I have pseudo-Jewish heritage. Perhaps this is why I've had several people tell me I could pass for Jewish.

Friday, October 08, 2004

Stick around and laugh awhile
I wish the other half of my brain had not gone back to Texas.

All weekends should be four days or why I was too busy to go to work Monday and Tuesday
-dinner at Mama Mexico (Brian, I am still rather disappointed that you didn't lick the guacamole bowl.)
-drinking and dancing at a Prodigals concert
-visiting my boys at Trinity
-sitting out on the fire escape until all hours of the night
-a birthday party on the Lower East Side
-Woodside in all its Irish glory
-exploring in Central Park
-playing palace
-trekking all over the Upper East Side in search of the Captain
-learning that a pitcher of daiquiris doesn't make Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights or New York Minute any better
-shopping, shopping, shopping

Overheard on the subway
"She's getting her boobs done for graduation."

A little corporate math
9 person staff - 3 people who have quit and haven't been replaced yet =so screwed

Friday, October 01, 2004

Earlier this week
A bank got robbed across the street from my office building. I meant to blog about that. Oops.

Today
Julie will be arriving at LaGuardia Airport at 5:18 p.m.! Hooray for visitors! Hooray for four-day weekends! Hooray for New York City!