Signs I'm a Member of Lambda Chi Alpha Fraternity
1. My roommate drinks beer out of a green and yellow there's-nothing-like-a-brother koozie.
2. At a party Saturday night, I saw a guy dressed as Silent Bob start yelling at a girl and telling her that she shouldn't hang out with the dirty, fucking Pikes but should hang out with his brothers the Lambda Chis instead. He's only been a Lambda Chi for nine weeks. Hating the Pikes must be in our charter.
3. Later that night I played beer pong.

Graduation Update
I have bad news for all of you looking forward to meeting Mega the show cat. She will no longer be traveling from upstate New York to Missouri to attend my graduation. My brother and his girlfriend will be bring their new show cat, a four-month-old Persian, instead. There are now officially more cats than people living in my brother's apartment. This scares me.

Have you ever felt like a thief? I have.
The phone rings
Me: Hello?
Caller: Can I speak with Anne?
Me: This is she.
Caller: This is Nancy Smith with the New School University.
Me: Oh shit. Yes?
Nancy: Where's our money?
Me: Oh shit. Umm ... I thought you were going to bill me. Let that sound believable. Let that sound believable.
Nancy: No, stupid. You were supposed to pay on arrival. I'm going to send you a bill because that's a lot of money. Have I mentioned we want our money?
Me: Um ... okay. Please don't send me to jail.

It's what time, and I'm still awake? Curse you, English 150. Curse you.

Newsflash
Will to live skyrockets by at least 25% after a trip to see Suki at Salon de Capello. Hair now looks, feels and smells fabulous (even if it is a bit broadcast at the moment).

Forecast
Will to live will plummet once I start trying to work on my short story again. Sigh.

Collective will to live in Apt. F-32: low

Life Lesson of the Day
Vitamins A, C and E, they're your anitoxidant group. (Paul, eat your tomatoes.)

Pinch Me
Today, I walked into Stotler Lounge and left carrying a cap and gown. It's like I'm actually graduating or something. So why do I feel like I'm getting away with something and pretty soon someone will come knock on the door and take it all back? Just kidding. You thought you were really going to graduate. Ha ha ha. That's a good one. Gah.

Equations
Irish oatmeal in pancakes = yum

Wine + friends + pecan tart = good times

In Need of Advice About Guys
Is it acceptable for a man to wear "beaters" as undershirts, or is it a sign of a hidden character flaw? Vote here.

For everyone else who loves bald men.

Now I really have to go to Boonville. Who's with me?

It's 2 p.m. on Wednesday. Vox has shipped. My duties as AME are over. My book review got turned in, and I even managed to catch up on some sleep. My week has officially stopped sucking.

Flashback to Middle School: Part II
Today in nutrition I passed notes. Good thing I didn't get caught. Professor Dowdy might have given me a detention. My mom would have been mad.

Footnote: Middle School has gone high tech. Finally, someone has helped move the do-you-like-me-circle-yes-or-no note into the computer age.

Things that make you hate life at 3 a.m.
Realizing that the four-page book review you stayed up this late to finish is only worth 25 points. I hate my English professor.

"Crying makes you go straight to hell." -Jules

Reasons I Love Hartsburg, Mo.
1. Beautiful blue skies
2. Festive fall foliage
3. American Legion barbeque
4. Caramel apple slices
5. Adorable pumpkins at low, low prices
6. Kettle corn

Flashback to Middle School
Number of crushes: 1
Number of times per day I run into said crush in or around Lee Hills Hall: at least 1
Approximate grade I feel like I'm in because I am too shy to have a conversation with this boy: 7th

Last night I met a celebrity at the Berg. I shook his hand, but I felt bad because I really had no idea who he was. I blame my parents for sheltering me from cable TV as a child. Or I suppose I could blame myself for being too cheap to spring for better a cable package.

Why ya gotta keep bein' in bad movies, Vin? You know I love you, baby. Why ya gotta keep breakin' my heart like that?

I think this man has lived my life:
"It's all about things that make you want to drink a pint of Guinness - youth, Catholic shool, Ireland, death and journalism."
- Dan Barry on his upcoming memoir.

(Thanks for the story, Ed.)

Getting Acqainted
My hometown: You can't find crossdressing cows just anywhere.
My relatives: I can make no excuses for my brother's new hobby.
My vices: Vin Diesel, General Hospital, Elimidate, Bud Light.

I have finally given in and jumped on the blog bandwagon.