Most ... Dramatic ... Rose ... Ceremony ... Ever
(Note to Julie: If you have not watched your tape of The Bachelorette yet. Do NOT read this.)
The Bachelorette has returned, and so far it is fabulous. A few highlights.
David: Sorry, passing out will not help you get a rose. And crying makes you go straight to hell.
Eric: Usually best not to ask out other girls (particularly undercover friends) while competing on the show. Even if you work for that babe magnet magazine, Popular Science.
Dark-haired Virgin/Winner of the Best Quote of the Night: "The body is a gift, not a carnival ride."
Light-haired Virgin: Please shave creepy facial hair. It makes it seem like you have a lot of weird fetishes or similar.
A.W.: Really? Are you a robot or root beer? It was kind of hard to tell.
Wendell: Way to be named Wendell. Now I know my family isn't the only one cruel enough to name a child Wendell. Although, I'm sure it was a much more common name back in the 1920s when the twins (Kendall and Wendell) were born.
Ben: Bonus points for good toast.
Fabrice: Bonus points for being French. But you also lose points for being kind of slimy.
John Paul: You are in real estate, so I hate you.
Chris: Why did he have to get cut? It would have increased the comedy factor quite a bit. Chris the hairstylist from Kentucky could have just gotten plastered for every episode and provided amusing commentary. I mean, the man quoted AC/DC for God's sake. Imagine how much better it could have gotten.
Previews: Someone gets arrested? Awesome! Now that would be the ... most ... dramatic ... rose ... ceremony ... ever. Perhaps Fabrice will get deported.
(Note to Julie: If you have not watched your tape of The Bachelorette yet. Do NOT read this.)
The Bachelorette has returned, and so far it is fabulous. A few highlights.
David: Sorry, passing out will not help you get a rose. And crying makes you go straight to hell.
Eric: Usually best not to ask out other girls (particularly undercover friends) while competing on the show. Even if you work for that babe magnet magazine, Popular Science.
Dark-haired Virgin/Winner of the Best Quote of the Night: "The body is a gift, not a carnival ride."
Light-haired Virgin: Please shave creepy facial hair. It makes it seem like you have a lot of weird fetishes or similar.
A.W.: Really? Are you a robot or root beer? It was kind of hard to tell.
Wendell: Way to be named Wendell. Now I know my family isn't the only one cruel enough to name a child Wendell. Although, I'm sure it was a much more common name back in the 1920s when the twins (Kendall and Wendell) were born.
Ben: Bonus points for good toast.
Fabrice: Bonus points for being French. But you also lose points for being kind of slimy.
John Paul: You are in real estate, so I hate you.
Chris: Why did he have to get cut? It would have increased the comedy factor quite a bit. Chris the hairstylist from Kentucky could have just gotten plastered for every episode and provided amusing commentary. I mean, the man quoted AC/DC for God's sake. Imagine how much better it could have gotten.
Previews: Someone gets arrested? Awesome! Now that would be the ... most ... dramatic ... rose ... ceremony ... ever. Perhaps Fabrice will get deported.
2 Comments:
I only saw the rose ceremony and the montage, and I'm already in love with this season. This is probably bolstered by the fact that when Jen gave Fabrice a rose, I thought she said Febreeze. Also, hooray for editors who create a montage that builds one of the men up to be a stalker.
By
Kara, at 10:46 AM
Ha! I cracked up at that carnival ride quote!! And I concur--Kentucky hairstylist would have made for some GREAT entertainment. xo, Tina
By
Anonymous, at 12:00 PM
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