Something for free
I can stop worrying about being able to afford living in Manhattan. I can always answer this ad in The New York Times:

"I'm a attorney with a busy Law practice. I'm looking for a female to share my LUXURY apartment in (Manhattan) New York City with a terrace and a great view of the city and close to Lincoln Center and Central Park. You should be Dominant and be able to Take command of me and my apartment. You should be able to keep it in order. In exchange of role play (you being dominant) you will receive FREE RENT and many perks such as local events, invite only parties, sails on my yacht and maybe occassional candle light diners."

But he probably wouldn't like me because I really want to copy-edit his ad. Then again, maybe he would be into that sort of thing.

The Rockford Register Star: Answering your burning questions
Such as, what would Jesus drive?
Tragically, the best part of the story didn't make it into the online version. It was the results of an online poll. Some people think Jesus would take public transportation because it is the closest thing to walking. Others think he would drive a pick-up truck because, you know, he was a carpenter. And some people thought he would drive an SUV because it would have plenty of room for the apostles.

Quotes of the Day
"In Kansas City, traffic is the new weather." -Scott

"Blah, blah, blah, shooting people in the stomach." -Jules

"I need a hug from a fuzzy pig." -me