Pet Pigeon
Today I ate my lunch in Union Square because it was lovely out. As I was sitting on my bench and eating my tuna sandwich, a somewhat elderly sat down on the bench across from me. She had a cat carrier with a pigeon inside. A pet pigeon? I really hope that it was some sort of expensive homing pigeon and not just a wild pigeon she had just captured in the park because that would be gross. Pigeons are basically rats with wings. Has she not read the signs in various public parks telling you not to feed the pigeons because they spread disease? True, she was not feeding the pigeons, but I think a logical step from that would be not to adopt a pigeon. But then again, she was wearing a Cubs hat, so you know she's crazy.

Have you ever felt like a drug-store employee had snuck into your bathroom?
How else would they know everything I was out of and what brand I use and have it on sale today? Contact solution, check. Shave gel, check. Shampoo? Not quite out yet, but it's buy one get one free, and I've been meaning to try the conditioner. So, check. Total savings? $7.55. My grandmother would be proud. She would also tell me to use triple coupons next time. If only Duane Reade had them. Sigh.